Leaving is not for everyone.
You must have a big heart, big enough to thank for everything you are leaving behind.
Joys and sorrows, friends and lovers.
This heavy baggage beats even when you  step somewhere that does not belong to you, laying down on a mattress that does not have your shape, sleeping in an uncomfortable pillow, looking at the ceiling wondering… What I’m i doing here?  Where I’m I going?

You make friends in other language, you taste different flavours, you dance new rhythms, you make love in a different colour,  everything feels strange, you are wearing a dress that doesn’t suit you,  rushing in a city where no one knows you, you embrace a culture that you can’t understand.

You must have an open heart, willing to experience new things, new feelings, new challenges, new people.
A heart that sometimes fears that your beloved ones you have left, have forgotten you, because their present have taken control of their lives and you are no longer part of it.

Leaving is being confused, waking up one day without knowing who you are, because you are being transformed into a new self, letting go the old mold that had already taken your shape, you are turning into a new version of yourself.

One day you wake up on the mattress that has now suffered a little from your weight, and the pillow feels softer, and the fearness now is glory, your darkness has lighten a little bit more, and you finally feel that you belong wherever you move.

Because when you go, rather than moving to another place, you are searching after the most important destination, your own.

Thanks for reading…

Angola G.

Nothing belongs to me

I am not the money I spend, nor the clothes I wear, I am not the trips I make nor the savings i saved.

I am my actions, thoughts and will.
I am the love I share with all those around me.
I am the decisions I make with wisdom.
I am the gratitude for life.
I am the creativity that flourishes from the art I admire.
I am the respect towards the life of all beings in the universe.
I am the written words that comes out of my hands every time my heart speaks out.
I am the abundance I attract wherever I go.
I am the authenticity to express myself.
I am the freedom to live without judgments.
I am the forgiveness to those I hurt.
I am the vulnerability towards the uncertainty.

Angola Gonzalez

This is the journey of life where nothing is eternal … neither the trips, nor the friends, nor the feelings, nor the loves, nor the opportunities.

Nothing is lived in the same way twice, in the unforseen circumstances….the moment you enjoyed the most, is no longer there, that beloved person left and the moment you believed eternal, had ended.

All this said, you can either love and enjoy the present, or you can desperately cry and desire never being left behind.

Both I had experienced and the only lesson learnt is:

Let yourself flow and flourish even in the middle of uncertainty. Embrace your own chaos and transform it into your refuge. Feeling grateful you have crossed paths.

Everything has an end, people change, moments are over, we cannot stop the natural transformation of things, but something new always arrive, to fulfill you and thrill your soul again.

Clinging does not allow us to clearly see the real meaning of life.

Life is a cycle.

Who would have ever guessed one day we would be trapped in our own lives, finally having what we had always complained about …
Time to share with the people we love right next to us.

One day you have time to think, create and rest from your busy and noisy lifestyle, it is now when you realise how ridiculously pleasant time is without the buzz of the city, without the need for stress that tells you how anxious you have to feel about money, because in this world, that’s the only thing that matters, right?

Suddenly, you have to lock yourself down with the only 3 basics of survival, food, water and a soul desperate to be healed.

Unexpectedly all the money in the world turns out to be insignificant when facing a global health crisis.
After years of working your ass off, non stop to make a “decent life” where your ego can live showing off. Today your family is on risk and you finally realise that there is no wealth on earth you could possess to make sure nothing would ever happen to them.

One day you open your eyes thinking you would give everything you could possibly do to keep them safe.

Hopefully now you stop blaming time for not being enough to spend with your beloved ones or sleep because it has never gave you enough rest to wake up thankful for the next day.

Thanks chaos for giving us the strength, wisdom and harmony we needed to find ourselves. 💫

A.G